With everything going on about women being sexual assaulted by various civil servants, can you advise if there is a policy for office romances? My boss is married but having an office affair with a subordinate. They have been together for years and caught kissing, and rumour has it that last year two colleagues caught them in the “act” in his office as they would stay late after everyone would leave for the day. These two decided to stay secretly to investigate why they were always staying late.

office romanceEveryone knows of the affair but it’s not addressed. She gets paid various Acting Allowances, is given special privileges, and even allowed to complete her personal degree studies/write her thesis on government time. Other members of staff cannot do any of these things and have been given a million reasons why they cannot get Acting Allowances, despite the fact that they are when managers are out on leave. Even one of the persons that saw the sexual act is given special privileges and gets Acting Allowance for [a particular position].

There has also been another hot affair between a female boss and one of her subordinates. Their relationship ended but shortly after another woman was employed and started having an affair with the man. The word quickly spread to the first woman and it became a cat fight of insults between the two women.

Everyone knows about these relationships and instead of addressing the matter, they sit and watch ‘Days of our Lives’ playing out live and in living colour. Is this practice allowed as civil servants, as in other companies, these type of acts encourage nepotism, lack of productivity, encourage office strive even stress.

If our managers cannot be exemplary role models in the vision of a “world class civil service”, then there really is no hope that that milestone can/will be achieved.


Auntie’s answer: Wow! A lot to discuss here, starting with the opening. I am not aware of any women being assaulted by any civil servants, but whether that’s true or made-up gossip, there is a disconnect tying that to office romance, which will go on until all our jobs are taken over by androids.

Let’s be clear here, whatever your personal morals are on the matter, adultery is not illegal in the Cayman Islands, no employers (even the civil service) can act as the morality police, and many would say that if two consenting adults are in a romantic or sexual relationship, it’s none of your business — so long as it does not affect their job performance. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the crux of the matter here.

So, the problem here is not the romance but the professionalism of those involved. If they carry on love affairs outside the office or catch a few secret moments out of the excited gaze of the water cooler crowd, it’s really none of your business. But if they’re having loud sex in the broom cupboard during work hours, that probably is, and if it affects any decision-making that is part of their jobs, that is definitely an issue.

As an aside, I’m not that impressed with the people who stayed behind after work just to see if the first pair were participating in after-hours extra-curricular activities. I don’t know any of the facts other than those stated here, and I could be wildly misjudging them, but my knee jerk reaction is, get a life! To my mind, a couple carrying on an affair (under any circumstance) should make every effort to keep it out of the office, and to everyone else in the office: if you have to go out of your way to find out about it, just don’t.

But let’s go back to the favouritism. I have no doubt that cave men kept the best bits of roasted mammoth for the cave women they were making cave babies with. And if you think about it, there would have been sound evolutionary reasons for it. However, that is not an excuse. If you’re in a responsible position and you can’t keep your primaeval impulses in check in your professional life, you have been promoted beyond your capabilities — the Peter Principle at work.

And let’s not forget cronyism and nepotism, which, along with heaping favours on the latest object of lust or love, undermines the whole goal to have a civil service (or any workplace) operate in a system based on merit. As you point out, this can have a seriously negative impact on productivity and the smooth running of the office, and can generally affect office morale. It’s very demoralising to be passed over for promotion for all the wrong reasons when you deserve it for all the right reasons.

There is a system in place to deal with grievances within the civil service, including the behaviour of another staff member in the workplace. It’s embedded in the Personnel Regulations, 2013 Revision, which accompany the Public Service Management Law. Section 51 of the regulations outlines the procedure for airing complaints and the chain of command for doing so, starting with your immediate supervisor and moving up to the chief officer. If the grievance concerns your supervisor, you would start one step higher on that chain. If the problem relates to the chief officer, you would then speak directly to the head of the civil service, which would be the deputy governor or his delegate.

If you do not feel you are getting a fair hearing or the issue is not being dealt with, you could take it to the Cayman Islands Civil Service Association, which might be able to lobby for change on your behalf. However, if you feel that ‘something is rotten in the state of Denmark’, that the problem is systemic, you might consider talking to your MLA, since the situation affects good governance. And if that doesn’t work, consider voting that MLA out in 2021. I know that’s a long way off, but that’s how it goes.

My answer so far has assumed that all parties to the various assignations have been willing partners, which seemed to be the case in the affairs you described. However, there are inherent problems when a boss (male or female) habitually flirts or worse with subordinates, or makes someone uncomfortable with unwanted attention, or creates the impression in the office that you have to suffer his/her attention in order to get that promotion, etc.

Firstly, that person is a creep. If there is someone reading this who routinely flirts with people he/she is supposed to be supervising and is wondering what people think of him/her, here’s the harsh truth: they all think you’re a dirtbag and a disgusting narcissistic fool.

If you think that the behaviour of your boss constitutes sexual harassment, whether you are the victim or an observer, please read the CIG Workplace Sexual Harassment Police in the CNS Library.

If you see that someone is a victim, it’s really important that others in the office let them know that they see what’s happening and that they will support them in anything they decide to do about it. Bullies should never be allowed to prevail.

The laws mentioned in this column can be found on the CNS Library